{"id":251,"date":"2009-11-01T13:15:00","date_gmt":"2009-11-01T19:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/?p=251"},"modified":"2009-11-03T15:55:16","modified_gmt":"2009-11-03T21:55:16","slug":"i-like-this-guy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/i-like-this-guy-251.htm","title":{"rendered":"I Like This Guy!"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>\n
<\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

My of my least favorite social duties is weddings. The normally low level of Catholic Church music plunges to new lows as \u201ctheir favorite song\u201d (sometimes schlocky-romantic, sometimes full of innuendos) is played during Communion. The bride has confused a ball gown and a wedding dress. A ball gown is daring and slightly immodest; a wedding dress \u2013 high collar, long sleeves \u2013 stresses the bride’s (devoutly wished by the father) virginity. Then the bridesmaids all too often look like they wandered in from Las Vegas, where they are working girls.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span>The Las Vegas theme is repeated at the reception with a disk jockey introducing everyone like an MC before he begins torturing the guests with \u201cmusic.\u201d Then there is the drinking.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

St. Lambert\u2019s Church has a \u201cDear\u00a0Reverend Know It All\u201d Column (pp. 3-5 of the bulletin<\/a>). (Gratias<\/em> to\u00a0dotCommonweal)\u00a0A few selections to tempt you to partake of his wisdom:<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The couple have been shacking up.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

They rent the hall and then go see the priest. He tells them there are four other weddings that day and they respond, \u201cbut we\u2019ve rented the hall already.\u201d Someone suggests a garden wedding if the church is occupied. The priest says we can\u2019t do garden weddings. (More on this later.) The young couple begins to complain about how narrow minded the Church is with all these rules and regulations. They eventually pick a date. Then the bottom drops out. It seems the groom is not Catholic. He was baptized in the First Reformed Church of the Druids, though he never practiced. This means there must be a dispensation for the marriage, another irritating Catholic invention, and the wedding date cannot be confirmed until the dispensation is received.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/span>snip<\/em><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

The special day comes, the best man is still drunk,the groom is hung over, no one knew about that interesting tattoo that the maid of honor had way low on her back, now revealed by the plunging back of her dress that is held up only by wishful thinking. Grandma, upon reading the logo of the maid of honor\u2019s tattoo, has fainted.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

snip<\/em><\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n
<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n
<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

The music reaches levels that cause blood to drip from some peoples\u2019 nose and ears. The joyous<\/span><\/span>event ends with the bride and groom being the last to leave the hall. They are slow to go up to the <\/span><\/span>room they have rented in the hotel because nothing new or beautiful awaits them there. The groom promptly falls asleep, being heavily sedated already, and, as he snores away, with his shoes still on, our blushing bride, having shed her dress of virginal white, thinks back on this day, her special day, the most important day in her life, the day she has dreamt of since she was a little girl. They will stay an extra day at the hotel, but cannot afford the time or money to go on a honeymoon because on Monday they will both be back at work in order to pay off the colossal bill that their special day has incurred. For some reason, the bride is depressed.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n

<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/font><\/span><\/font><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\r\n\t<\/div>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My of my least favorite social duties is weddings. The normally low level of Catholic Church music plunges to new lows as \u201ctheir favorite song\u201d (sometimes schlocky-romantic, sometimes full of innuendos) is played during Communion. The bride has confused a ball gown and a wedding dress. A ball gown is daring and slightly immodest; a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-251","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","has-post-title","has-post-date","has-post-category","has-post-tag","has-post-comment","has-post-author"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=251"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/251\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.podles.org\/dialogue\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}